*Slogans Under the Influence (culture shock bag tax)

 Just don't do it!

in time of Nike the 'just do it' era, there are things as a sober adult you just don't do under the influence.

first and foremost, drive. we all know that tipsy driving is drunk driving.    Shot out to M.A.D.D. who has drilled that into our heads during the 80-90's.

you don't fry chicken or any other food.  we know the risks, right, and even if the first batch is ok, there is always those last pieces that collect all the burned residue, then get neglected by distraction because you're getting another drink and still entertaining now the smoke detector is going off and the situation becomes a mess.

don't perm or color someone's hair while the under the influence. Nope, nope, don't do it. no matter how easy you imagine it can be done, don't do it. because either you gonna cut too much off or leave the chemicals in too long.  dont try to be creative by blending to types of hair together, straight, curly, kinky mixed do not go together. Not a good look. 

So there no hair do's while under the influence.

No looking for love while by yourself. don't do it. finding a relationship by yourself while under the influence is the catch for 5–10-year one night stand. 

Dont babysit while under the influence.  there is no telling where or what the children will get into or get away with so long as they are quiet.

Don't go swimming or go into large body of water.   I learned this one firsthand in jamica. 

I was vacationing in Jamaica. Ok, so, you already know where this is going.  I can't swim. It gets worst. I'm in the water waist deep doing standing yoga poses. Yeah, I'm warrior. I'm invincible. I'm maintaining 

holding the yoga poses maintaining balanceb ut that last wave took that warrior pose down. the under current got my ass, pulled me under, then forward.  when i surfaced I screamed "this just my second day!" (here in Jamaica that is)

and as I began fanning my arms in a fake swim tactic, "I remembered what an old wise women told me "Child, when out in that water, and find yourself in trouble, just stand up." so I did, and water was knee deep.

I was so traumatized I didn't take a shower that night. no stretching before bed, but out of gratitude for those wise words that saved my life I thanked and kissed my best friend's Moma goodnight. soon as I returned to the states, I bought a life jacket, and I take it with me wherever I go that is near a large body of water.  

give it up yourselves... we survived the 'crack age'. Surely, we survived many other epidemics, but that crack age still stands out alone. many people of society are still affected.  the addicts, the foster children, and those that were mass incarcerated. 

we lived by the anti-drug slogans, a fried egg representing your brain on drugs.  my favorite was the man walking in circles.  I work more so that I can by more drug, I buy drugs so I can work more.  he would be called a functional drug addict. 

you may call me the advocate single parent addicts.  because during those time when houses were raided for the drugs or the children.  The cameras will show a house in squalor. clothes and trash everywhere. a refrigerator with a jar of pickle water and an orange peel.

I thought to develop a crack addict grocery list you can't go wrong with this list for the combinations are multipurpose nutritional meals for yourself and kids. 

milk

bread

peanut butter and maybe jelly

cereal - cold and packaged oatmeal so long as you have a microwave. 

ramon noodles 

cheese

*fresh fruit and veggies

apples, carrots, and celery. all of which have long shelf life. 

What's missing? Oh meat! hot dogs, summer sausage, canned fish, and beans. That's it!

These meal combinations are child friendly to prepare with-out adult supervision.

 Grapes, bananas, and oranges, that would be too much of a delicacy. Yeah, too much of a treat. So, we suggest just getting some fruit juice. truly this food is not just for show for the raid. if you manage to keep this on hand it save you and the children. There is hope that you care.

yeah, these times, now that pandemic is 'over' we now reflect on what have we learned and how to remain safe from it happening again. starting off with what have we learned?  many have learned that child number three is not theirs, marriages have split because couple realized they really don't like each other. we learned how to cook, DIY household maintenance, hobbies, gardening, sewing, crochet, knitting, building passive income, and most importantly how to fold over the bathroom tissue to make it last.

how i remain safe during these times? 

carrying the new essentials. the gloves, a mask, sanitizing gel, and a shopping bag. 

at one point the essential list was just you credit card, phone, and keys. now it all this extra shit. the bag serves the purpose to carry all this shit, plus what you purchase if you happen to buy something from the store. 

well, here I am coming from the suburbs experiencing some culture shock relocating back into the city. I'm at the register at dollar tree, the cashier rings me up, I pay, then the cashier asks "Do you wanna bag" humph well doesn't the bag come with the merchandise? she explains that there is 8cents bag tax paid by the customer. 

really now. I declined the offer to buy a bag because I now choose to put this Dooney and Bourke into use.  yeah, I'll put my $30 worth of merchandise into my $400 dollar bag, to keep from paying a 7-cent bag tax.  You can't be any financial savvy than that right?  

The pandemic has added to purse bag essentials - no longer to carry just a cell phone, keys, and debit card.  In addition to that we need a mask, hand sanitizer, and a bag.

If there are too many people coughing around me, no shame in putting on my mask. remember to apply enclose spaces, the airplane, buses, medical waiting rooms, I go so far as public bathrooms where we don't have 6 feet apart, but arm's length will suffice. 

The whole dynamic has changed. No more puff puff give. no no no my brother (or sister) You got to have your own.  Thank goodness we have edibles to share like Now and Laters, skittles. and gummy bears and shit. 

 I used to wonder why some people get high to go into places where you have to act sober. Why do we do that?  wouldn't that just blow the high?  But then there is that moment when you're that only person high like at work, i know in a room full of people like at a meeting, I would sing my happy song "na na na na na, I'm high and you all don't know it." it makes me tolerate a boring ass office meeting a tad bit better ,right? 

dont be a litter bug - sponsored by mcdonald's

dont drink and drive by m.a.d.d.

say no to drugs

you are somebody

Gain better insight, till you start overstanding shit.